Becoming Comfortable With Who You Are
by JustLikeBrookeDavis
Summary: Haley and Brooke Davis are twin sisters. Their best friends are Rachel and Peyton. Haley and Rachel are dating. Peyton is also a lesbian. Brooke is starting to figure out she likes girls and isn't handling it well..Can Haley help her through it?
1. Summary&Intro

**Becoming Comfortable With Who You Are**

**Ch.1: Summary & Introductions.**

**Summary: **Brooke and Haley Davis are twin sisters. They are 17 years old and are juniors in high school. They are each other's everything. When one of them has a problem the other one is right there to help them through it. Their parents are not around. Their best friends are Rachel and Peyton. Haley is a lesbian and has been out since their freshman year and is dating Rachel. Brooke on the other hand is just finding out that she is attracted to girls…and she doesn't know how to handle it. Can Haley help her through it?

**Introductions**

My name is Haley Davis I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school. I have a twin sister named Brooke. Although people think we are identical twins we're not the only difference between are appearance is our eye color. My eyes are brown and hers are Hazel. However our personalities are way different from each others. I am outgoing, talkative, optimistic, confidant, and I don't care what other people think about me. I am a lesbian and have been out since freshman year. I am also the head cheerleader. While Brooke on the other hand is sensitive, shy, and antisocial most of the time, confusing, complicated, insecure, and cares way too much about what other people think about her. I have a girlfriend her name is Rachel she also happens to be one of mine and Brookes best friends along with Peyton. Rachel and I have been going out since freshman year and we couldn't be happier.

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My name is Brooke Davis I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school. I have a twin sister named Haley. Although people think we are identical twins we're not the only difference between are appearance is our eye color. My eyes are hazel and hers are brown. However our personalities are way different from each others. Haley and I are pretty much complete opposites. I am sensitive, shy, anti-social most of the time, confusing, complicated, and insecure, and I care way too much about what other people think about me. On the other hand is talkative, optimistic, confidant, and doesn't care what other people think about her. Haley and I have been living by our self's without parents since we were 13 years old. We count on each other a lot. Like my sister I am a cheerleader but the only reason I'm a cheerleader is because of my sister and are best friends Peyton and Rachel. Rachel is actually dating my sister Haley and they have been since freshman year and they seem really happy. Peyton is also a lesbian she has been in many relationships though. I on the other hand am just starting to figure things out and it scares the crap out of me.

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My name is Peyton Sawyer I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school. I am a lesbian just like my best friends Haley and Rachel we all have been out since freshman year. I am outgoing, talkative, optimistic, confidant, artist, sarcastic, and I don't give a crap what other people think about me. If they don't like me then that is their problem not mine. I am a cheerlead just like my friends. Haley's twin sister Brooke is one of our best friends to. Haley doesn't know this but I have feels for Brooke and they are more than friendly they are romantic ones.

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My name is Rachel Gatina I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school. I am a lesbian just like my best friends Peyton and my girlfriend Haley. We all have been out since freshman year, that's also the year I started dating Haley and we are so happy with our relationship right now. I am outgoing, talkative, optimistic, confidant, bitchy, and sarcastic. If anyone has a problem with me well then that is their problem because I honestly don't care what people think about me. Along with Haley, Peyton and are other best friend Haley's sister Brooke I am a cheerleader.

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**A/N: I hope you guys like the intro to this new story I'm starting…I know you all must be waiting so patiently for me to get new chapters up for my other two story's and I promise that I will get them up really soon. **


	2. Beginning of The Year Party

**Becoming Comfortable With Who You Are**

**Ch.2: Beginning of the Year Party.**

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**A/N: I'm actually going to try and do something different with my writing on this story. It's going to be in POV's I don't know how much of it's going to be Rachel's but well see. I am also going to try and write the dialogue differently then I usually do. So please after you read this chapter please tell me how I did and please be critical. thanks that's the only way I'll improve.**

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**Haley's POV:**

I just started my senior year of high school this week. Considering that it's the beginning of the school year and it's the first Saturday of the year there going to be a huge party at someone's beach house. Rachel, Peyton, and I are really excited about this party, but my sister Brooke not so much. Even though Brooke is a cheerleader she doesn't really like being around people she's really shy but with friends like Rachel, Peyton, and me there's no way she is going to be getting out of going to this party even though I know she is going to try. Its five o'clock right now which means in about an hour we have to start getting ready so I really hope that the pizza I ordered gets here soon.

It's been about 15 minutes since I ordered the pizza and I hear are door bell ring. I go and answer the door and give the guy the money and he hands me the pizza. I go into the kitchen and get out plates and something to drink for me and Brooke.

"Brooke dinners here" I call up the stairs to her

"I'll be there in a minute hales" She said sadly

"Okay…Brookie is everything okay?" I ask with a worried tone in my voice because it sounds like she's been crying

"Yeah sissy I'm great. Let's eat I'm starved" She says coming down the stairs

I can't help notice her fake ass smile and her red eyes plus tear stained cheeks. If she thinks she's getting away with not telling me what's wrong she's crazy. We both sit at the table and start eating are dinner and talking about random stuff then of course Brooke asks what I knew she would eventually.

"Hey Hales…Do I have to go to the party tonight?" She asks dreadfully

"Of course you do Brooke…You're a cheerleader don't you think it would look bad if one of the cheerleaders didn't show up?" I ask hoping she'll just give up

"But I don't even talk to most of the people who are going to be there, and besides Hales I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now and can't think straight" She says Mentally kicking herself for saying the word straight

"Brooke would this stuff have anything to do with the reason you were crying before dinner?" I ask trying to figure out what's wrong with my sister

"Yes…No..Maybe..I don't know…" She says so confused, sad and angrily

"Hey we've always been able to talk to each other about everything and help each other out…I hate seeing you like this Brookie can you please just tell me what going on in that gorgeous head of yours?" I beg really worriedly I can see it in her eye's that whatever it is it's eating at her

"It's um just never mind….So I changed my mind I'll go to the party" She says with a fake smile

"That's good to know Peyton and Rachel will be here in an hour so why don't you go get ready and I'll cleanup" I say

"Okay" She says while walking towards the stairs

God I hate seeing my sister like this. I mean I see her upset a lot but nothing like this. When she's upset or has a problem I'm the first person she comes to. I just don't know what she could be hiding. There has only been one other time that she was this upset and refused to tell me what was wrong but she finally did after about two weeks. It was actually just recently it was over the summer towards the beginning of summer. And I know she still blames herself for what happened that night to her but I also know that's not was bugging her. Fuck I really have to find out was going on with her.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Brooke's POV:**

After dinner I go up to my room and shut my door and instead of getting ready like Haley told me to do I lay on my bed and start crying again. Ever since that night this summer my life hasn't been the same and I haven't been the same girl either. I get nightmares almost every night but Hales doesn't know about most of them unless I wake up screaming. That's actually only part of the reason I am crying right now….The other reason is because I am so fucking confused about my sexuality and I hate the fact that all three of my best friends are open about there's and they aren't struggling to find it out. I've also notice my feelings towards Peyton have changed, like I get butterflies when ever she's around and I can't help but stare at her, this scares the crap out of me because I know she would never be with me for the simple fact she knows about this summer and how fucked up I am. The only damn thing I'm looking forward to at this party is getting drunk..and I've never gotten drunk before but that's also because alcoholism runs in the family and Haley and I promised each other we wouldn't end up like are parents. But I need to numb all of this pain. I hear a knock on my door then I hear Hales voice.

"Hey Brooke can I come in?" She asks still worried

"Of course you can" I say putting on my fake smile and sounding happy

She walks in the room looking at me and she see's that I'm not ready at all and I notice that she is.

"Um Brooke you do realize you've been up here for 50 minutes and only have 10 till are friends get here right?" She ask curiously

"Yeah but I just don't know what to wear "I lie

"Well I can help you out with that…We want you to look sexy tonight" She says walking to my closet

"Umm what exactly are you thinking" I ask terrified I haven't exactly felt like wearing revealing clothes lately

"You'll see" She says picking out a hot pink tube top and mini skirt, it's the same exact thing she's wearing except her top is lime green.

"Really Haley the same outfit practically" I ask

"Yep I like fucking with people's brains now come on and get dressed" She says with a huge smile on her face

I get dressed and I walk into the bathroom to start putting on my makeup. Of course it's going to be the same as Haley's if we are going to be able to as she say's "fucking with people's brains". I get done with my make up just as I hear the door bell ring. Ohh god they're those butterflies in my stomach and I haven't even seen her yet, but of course I know she's going to look hot, she always does. Shit I can't go down there I am way to nerves. I am taken out of my thoughts when I hear Haley yell up to me.

"Brookie there here are you ready yet?" She asks

"I know give me 10 minutes then I'll be down" I say nervously

"Okay but hurry about" She says sounding kind of annoyed.

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**Haley's POV:**

When I hear the door bell ring I yell up to Brooke but of course she says she's not ready. But I don't think that really is the case I think she is just really nervous. I know the cloths I picked out for her are a little revealing and she hasn't worn anything like that since that nigh so maybe that's why she isn't down here yet, or it could be the reason she has been crying today. Ugh this is so frustrating well I should answer the door. I walk over to the door and open it I can't believe my eyes I knew my girlfriend and best friend where hot but that applies especially tonight. Peyton is wearing a Black halter top with a hot pink skirt and black boots. You could see her legs perfectly. I know exactly who she is trying to impress. You see Peyton has had a crush on Brooke for about 4 years but she doesn't want to tell her and scare her off anyways as far as all of us know Brooke is straight but she's never been in a relationship and I've never heard her talk about guys so honestly I don't know. Anyways know let's talk about how fucking sexy my hot girlfriend looks right now. She is wearing a bright yellow spaghetti strap top with a mini skirt and high heels. Anyways I welcome them in and we start talking.

"Wow you guys look so hot especially you baby" I say as I kiss Rachel

"Thank you don't look half as bad yourself Hales" Peyton says with a sweet smile

"Thanks, you look really hot too, so baby where is your sister?" Rachel ask wanting to leave

"Well she's up stairs and says she'll be down in ten minutes and honestly I don't know what she is doing up there and I'm really worried about her." I say as my voice starts shaking

"Aw sweetie why are you worried about her?" Rachel asks me

"Because I've found her crying twice today and when I asked her what was wrong she wouldn't tell me….We tell each other everything and she always leans on me when she is having a problem… There has only been one other time that she has refused to tell me what was going on and that was this summer..Ugh god I just really need to know what's bugging my baby sister." I say all this and start crying

"Haley you know Brooke loves you and she will tell you when she is ready, but if you want I can try talking to her tonight." Peyton says in comforting tone

"Peyton that would be so great if you would do that for me. I also should warn you she is probably going to feel very vulnerable tonight as she is wearing the same exact outfit as me just different colored top" I warn them

"Baby I know I'll keep a close eye on her tonight and try and help her if she needs it" Rachel tells me lovingly

"I will also look out for her. I would hate for anything to happen to her I love her to damn much." Peyton says honestly

"Thank you guys so much you have no clue how much this means to me" I tell them

I finally see Brooke making her way down the stairs, but as soon as she is three stairs away from us she just freezes and doesn't move. I look into her eyes and all I can see is fear and pain and boy is it killing me. Before I could walk over to her and ask her if she was okay I see Peyton walking towards her and ask here questions.

"Brookie cookies are you okay?" Peyton asks her with peer concern in her voice

"Uhh Uhh yeah I'm fine, can we please just go now?" She says trying to hold back tears

"Yeah sure sweetie, but just know if you need to talk we are all here for you and wont judge at all" Peyton tells her being 100% honest.

We get to the party and of course it is at Nathans beach house. We can see loads of people already inside and out by the bonfire when we get out of the car. I turn and grab a hold of Rachel's hand and then all four of us walk into the house. I among my Rachel and Peyton were very shocked on what we saw next. As soon as we walk into the house Brooke walks straight over to the alcohol and pours herself some, and downs it really fast I think she does this about 4 different times. I know Rachel and Peyton were concerned by this also they were also concerned about me because they know how much everything she is going through is killing me because I'm supposed to protect her. When it comes to Brooke Peyton is closer to her then Rachel is. Rachel kisses me for about a minute and then tells me she is going to go talk to Nathan to give me and Peyt time to talk.

"Fuck Peyton what am I going to do? Look at her she isn't herself at all. I have never seen her drink before and I sure as hell have never seen her dance like she is right now with boys. I know she is hurting and trying to just forget everything but she needs to deal with it" I say starting to cry

"Hales all we can do is let her know we are here for her and when she is ready to talk well be right here waiting. I know that it sucks but honestly as you can tell she is stuffing her pain deep down inside hoping it will go away so she won't have to deal with it but she will eventually. I know it's killing you to see her like this believe me it's killing me too, God I am so fucking in love with her Hales and I would do anything just to see her happy again" Peyton says now starting to cry

"Hey Pey Pey I know how much you love my sister and that you would give and do anything for her, I also know that you would give anything just to be able to hold her in your arms and be able to call her yours. Well it looks like she finally has stopped drinking and dancing with the boys and is about to play a game, what do you say we go join in?" I tell her and ask her

"Sounds like a good plan to me" She says

We walk over to where everyone is sitting in a circle with a bottle in the middle. Peyton and I sit down and Rachel comes over and sits down beside me. Peyton is actually going to play but Rachel and I are sitting out of the circle so no one would try to kiss us. Honestly I can't see why Brooke is playing this game she hasn't even had her first kiss yet, well at least not one that she wasn't forced into. Rachel sees how worried I am and I know she can also tell that I am shaking because she pulls me into her lap and whispers comforting words into my ear. Lucas explains that once the bottle points to you, you have to kiss who ever spins the bottle no matter what and it's not going to me like a 7th graders game of spin the bottle you have to full on make out, you can also kiss there neck and stuff for 7 minutes in front of everyone. I can totally tell that Brooke is debating whether to stay and play the game or get up and leave, but she decides to stay. Lucas spins first considering it was his idea to play the game. It lands on Peyton and you can totally see how disgusted Peyton is at the fact she had to kiss a guy. Once the kissing was over you could see relief in Peyton's eyes. She spins the bottle and to everyone's surprise it lands on Brooke. Rachel and I look at each other and share a pleased smile, I look over at my sister and I can see a smile start to appear but just as fast as it appeared it disappeared. Brooke gets up and walks to the middle of the circle to meet Peyton, they lean in and start kissing you can see that Brooke was actually the one who deepened the kiss. Peyton pulls back from the kiss to get air and then starts kissing and sucking on her neck and her hands were moving up her back. It looked like Brooke was enjoying this but then suddenly she starts screaming.

"NO stop please get off me, stop please." Brooke screams

"Brooke its okay I'll stop" Peyton tells her in a sweet voice

"I don't think so it's only been two minutes, just because she's never made out before doesn't mean you can stop when she gets freaked out, she needs to grow up" Lucas told the both of them

"Lucas you don't know what the fuck you're talking about so why don't you just shut up" Peyton tells him

All of a sudden I see Brooke run as fast as she can out of the house."Great this can't be good at all" I say out loud without even realizing it. I start to get up and go find my sister when Peyton walks over to me and asks if she could be the one to go find her and talk to her considering she is the one that was kissing her and should have known something like this might happen. I agree and let her but told her in a half hour I would like to find them and talk to her.

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**Brooke's POV:**

I run out of the house so damn fast that I don't think anyone saw me leave. I keep running until I think I'm far enough away from the party and I sit down on the beach and hug my legs and start shaking remembering that horrible night.

_**Flashback**_

_I was at the beach with Haley and Peyton Rachel was spending the day with her parents. We were all having a great time lying in the sun talking and swimming in the water. We spent the whole day like that. It started to get dark and Peyton and Hales wanted to leave I told them they could and I would stay for a while. I was lying on my back for about 15 minutes when I feel a hand run up and down my back that only has the string to my bikini on it. I jump and turn around and see a guy about 20 years old he looks and me and smiles and starts talking._

"_Hey there gorgeous" the guy said running his hands up and down my arms_

"_umm Hi can you please stop doing that" I ask him freaked out_

"_Come one baby you know you like it" He says moving his hand to my back and keeps lowering it until it reaches my butt_

"_PLEASE just stop" I ask crying now_

_He doesn't say a word he just turns me over and starts touching me all over I'm begging him to stop but he won't I finally just close my eyes and wait till it all over. Like an hour later he leaves me alone. I get up and run back to my house and collapse and start crying._

_**End of flashback**_

I'm crying really hard now and shaking uncontrollably I feel like I'm going to faint any minute now from all the emotional pain I'm feeling and the loss of breath because it's getting really hard for me to breathe from all the crying I'm doing. All of a sudden I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jump and start screaming. Then I hear a voice that I recognize, I look over and I see that it's her hand.

"Brooke sweetie its okay you're safe" Peyton says pulling me into a really tight hug

"I'm never going to be safe from all the memories that are in my head. I can't stop thinking about it, every time I close my eyes I'm reliving it, I have nightmares nightly" I tell her crying really hard now barley breathing

"Shhhsh baby its okay, I promise you I will never let anything like that happen to you again and neither will Hales or Rachel" She tells me trying to get me to calm down

"Peyton I know it's stupid for me to ask this and you're probably going to say no but… can you stay over tonight and sleep with me…Rachel and Hales are of course spending the night in Hales room and I really can't be alone right now and Just being near you makes me feel better and when I'm in your arms I feel safe like nothing can hurt me" I ask her just crying a little

"Baby of course I will, you do know that I would do anything for you right? No matter what it is as long as it's not illegal" Peyton asks and tells me

We stay and sit there for another ten minutes and then Hales comes walking up. Fuck I can't tell her, I know she means well and everything, but she needs time with Rachel and if I tell her what I told Peyton she isn't going to have that time with her. So when she sits down next to us I tell her that Peyton is spending the night in my room tonight and that I was really tired and ready to go home. But Haley tried to talk to me and find out what was going on, but instead of talking to her I just hugged Peyton even tighter and buried my head into her chest. Haley & Peyton reassured me that I was going to be okay, and Haley also told me she won't push me to talk to her and she will wait until I am ready to talk to her about what is going on. We sat there for about another ten minutes and then Hales went to find Rachel while Peyton and I headed to the car, I couldn't deal with going back inside at all. Once Haley and Rachel go to the car we all got in, Peyton and I were in the back. As soon as we both got seated and situated I put my head on Peyton's lap, she was rubbing smoothing circles up and down my back while I just lay there trying to forget about everything. About 15 minutes later we arrived at our house and we all got out and walked inside. Peyton told me to go on up stairs and she would be there in a minute she was getting us to sodas.

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**Peyton's POV:**

I watch as Brooke walks up the stairs, she looks so broken and fragile. It breaks my heart that she is feeling so lost and broken and she can barley open up to anyone about it, and I know that fact is also killing Haley she hates seeing her sister in this much pain. I wait until I hear Brooke close her bedroom doors, then I talk to Haley about what's going on with Brooke well at least on what she told me because I know there's more to it.

"You guys as much as Brooke made us believe she was fine she isn't. I don't actually think she realizes what she told me tonight. She said she's never going to be safe from all the memories that are in her head. And that she can't stop thinking about it, every time she closes her eyes she relives what happened, and the worst of it is she is having nightmares nightly. You would think she would let her sister sleep with her and hold her like she did the first week after all of us found out." I tell them really concerned for Brooke

"I hate seeing her broken, I mean she seemed like she was doing fine a month ago but I guess she was just putting up a front so she wouldn't worry all of us." Rachel says

"I can't believe she is still having nightmares nightly and hasn't told me about them. Damn it she knows I would sleep with her until the night mares went away even if it took months. But I also know that this isn't the only thing that has got her upset and I think I figured out what else is bothering her." Haley tells us

"Care to explain?" I ask

"I think she's starting to have crushes on people and it scares the hell out of her because I think the crush she has right now is on a girl. So I think she is really confused on how to deal with her emotions about this and deal with what happened this summer."Haley explains

"Wait so you think Brooke might be into girl?"Rachel asks

"Yep…and I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow because the less she has to worry about everything at once the better" Haley says

"Okay well I should probably get the sodas and get back to Brooke I don't like leaving her alone when she's this upset. Good night see you guys tomorrow" I told them

"Good Night" They both say

I go over to the fridge and grab out two sodas for me and Brooke then head up the stairs. Once I am outside of Brooke's door I stand there and listen to what song is playing and to her crying.

**Well, I couldn't tell you  
why she felt that way? She felt it every day  
and I couldn't help her  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again**

what's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems  
don't know where she belongs  
where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home  
That's where she lies  
Broken inside with no place to go  
No place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside

Open your eyes  
And look outside find the reasons why  
You've been rejected  
And now you can't find what you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now  
Too many, too many problems  
Don't know where she belongs  
Where she belongs?

She wants to go home but nobody's home  
That's where she lies  
Broken inside with no place to go  
No place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find  
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind  
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith  
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home but nobody's home  
That's where she lies  
Broken inside with no place to go  
No place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside  
She's lost inside, lost inside

After the songs over I open her bed room door and walk inside and HATE what I see. She is sitting on her bed clinging on to her knees shaking really badly and crying to the point where if she doesn't stop soon she is going to faint from the lack of oxygen she is getting. I walk over to her bed and climb on to it and wrap her into a really tight hug and begin rubbing smoothing circles on her back. She has her head buried into my chest and has a really tight grip on me which I don't mind at all. We sit in silence except for her depressing music that is playing for about 10 minutes before she is finally calm enough to talk. She still has her head buried in my chest but I can hear her if she talks.

"Sweetie everything's going to be okay, Haley, Rachel and I are all here for you and well help you get through this" I tell her in a comforting tone

"I know you guys are here for me, I just don't want to make you worry about me with all the thoughts and things that go through my head" She says looking up at me

"Brooke please tell me what's going on that pretty head of yours please" I ask well more like beg

"I just want to stop feeling. I don't want to be able to feel anymore. All these damn emotions are confusing me and I can't take it. But I feel numb and empty inside most of the time. I hate being around people now it's really hard for me at school surrounded by people and the party tonight was really hard that's why I was drinking just to stop from having a panic attack which I know get all the time. I just want to be able to feel safe again and be able to go place by myself but that probably won't happen." she says starting to cry again

"It's okay Brookie cookie calm down, I promise you that when you're with me you are more than safe, I won't let anything happen to you" I tell her

"You Promise?" She asks sadly

"Of course I do, it's been a rough night how about we go to sleep now?" I ask hoping she will be able to sleep peacefully with me with her

"Okay" She says getting into bed

We both get into her bed and she moves really close to me facing me. She has her head in my chest and has a death grip on me, I know it's because as much as she doesn't want to admit it she's afraid to go to sleep and have those nightmares. I play with her hair and whisper comforting things in her ear. She falls asleep within five minutes of us getting in to bed I can tell by her breathing. God I am so in love with this girl that it hurts to see her like this. I'm in deep thought when I feel her tighten her grip around me so I know she just had a bad dream. I start rubbing her back and whisper in her ear that she is safe and it was just a dream. This happened about 10 times during the night and each time it happened it broke my heart more and more.

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**A/N: Well there you have it the second chapter. So I know that it was supposed to focus on Haley and Brooke plus Brooke struggling with her sexuality but I just got this idea about what happened with Brooke and had to go with it, but trust me pretty so it will mainly be Haley helping Brooke with her sexuality and becoming comfortable with who she is. If you have any ideas or complaints please let me know. And please be honest on how you like this chapter and the change in my writing.**


	3. Getting Her To Open Up

**Becoming Comfortable With Who You Are**

**Ch.3: Getting Her to Open Up**

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**Haley's POV:**

After we got home from the party and Brooke went upstairs to her room. Peyton told us what Brooke actually told her tonight. I was really shocked and sad to find out that she is still having nightmares nightly and hasn't told me about them, she knows damn well I would sleep with her until they went away. The only nightmares I knew of where the ones that she actually woke up screaming from. I feel really bad about Rachel it seems like lately we really haven't been able to have a whole lot of time together without my sister coming up. After Peyton goes up stairs Rachel and I head up stairs to my room. Once were in my room I shut my door and push her up against the wall and start kissing her passionately but then it got harder. I started moving my hands up her legs and under her skirt on the inside of her thighs right before I can do anything she pushes me away and starts talking.

"Hales baby as much as I would love to have sex with you, I don't want to do it like this." She says in a comforting tone because she knows the only reason I did that is to try and forget about everything and I feel helpless

"I'm sorry." I say as I'm now sitting on my bed with my head on my knees crying hoping Rachel won't notice

"It's okay baby, but you know that's not a good way to get your emotions out, I would much rather you talk to me about it or cry whichever one you do I'm fine with it." She says coming over to my bed and sitting next to me and she starts rubbing smoothing circles on my back

"Rachel I'm sorry that I'm like this tonight. This isn't how I planned tonight at all. I just don't want to bother you with my problems" I say in all honesty

"Hales you know you could never bother me and I'm here for you to talk to, besides I'm also really concerned about Brooke. So please Hales just tell me what you are thinking and how you are handling all this." She says kissing my forehead

"I just can't believe she is trying to deal with the nightmares by herself. I guess I'm also blaming myself for her being this bad tonight, I shouldn't have made her go to the party tonight, but if she wanted to go I sure as hell shouldn't have put her in those cloths. I just feel so responsible for her rape because I left her at the beach by herself if I was there none of that would happen." I say now crying

"First of all baby none of this is your fault. I have been telling you and Peyton this from the day we all found out; you guys are not responsible for Brooke getting raped. I think it's stupid of Brooke to try and deal with her nightmares by herself but I mean at least she has Peyton tonight which is the next best thing for her besides you. I think she didn't tell you she was still having nightmares because she knows how much you worry about her and if she made you believe she was fine then you would be happy again."She says all of this pulling me into a hug.

"I know I just I don't know I hate this Brooke used to be outgoing when we were little but after are parents left us she slowly started becoming shy but now that this happened I'm just afraid she'll pull away from everyone because that's what she is doing right now to me. Baby I'm tired can we go to bed?"I say sadly still hugging her

"Of course baby" She says getting up off the bed so they can get in it

We climb into my bed and I move really close to Rachel and press my body into her, I needed to be close to her. Rachel raps her arms around me and holds me. We both fall asleep like this.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Peyton's POV: **

When I woke up this morning the sun was shining into the bedroom and it hit Brooke just right and made her look even more beautiful then she already is. After I stare at her for about a couple of minutes I realize how we are laying. Brooke's leg was in between mine and her hand was on my right breast. I didn't mind it at all hell I liked it, but a little too much I was getting wet and I was horny. Haley walks into the room and just stares at the position I'm in and then walks over to my side of the bed and starts talking.

"I'm really surprised you are sitting still Peyt, I would think this would make you horny" She said laughing

"It's not funny at all, for your information it's making me really horny and wet and I can't do anything about it because I can't leave Brooke alone." I say annoyed and frustrated

"That's why I came in here actually it's already 10 o'clock and I really want to spend the whole day with Brooke so I was wondering if it was okay if you left" She tells and asks me

"No problem but I got to wake Brooke up I don't want to leave without saying goodbye." I tell her

"That's fine" she says

I slowly start playing with Brooke's hair and kiss her on the top of her head, then her forehead, and her check. When I kissed her check she started to wake up. She opens her eyes and I we both stare at each other. I reach over and Move hair away from her face. I tell her that I was going to go but that I would see her tomorrow at school. She said okay and gave me a hug and told me thank you. Then I walked out of her room and saw Haley by her door. I told her that Brooke was all hers but if she needed anything or needed help with her to call me and I'll come over. With that said I left.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Haley's POV: **

I walked into my little sister's room and she was hugging her knees and crying. I walked over to her bed and I sat down next to her and scooted all the way up towards the head board. The next thing I know she is holding me really tightly and crying. This went on for about five minutes her grasp on me loosed a little bit and that's when I realized she was asleep. I just sit there looking at her and playing with her hair. Even when she is asleep looks broken and lost. She sleeps for about an hour and when she wakes up she starts talking right away.

"Hales I'm not in the mood to talk to you about last night, or what Peyton told you. I know that's why it took her so long to get up here last night you guys were talking but it's okay" She says sadly

"Brookie cookie I'm not going to make you talk about that stuff if you don't want to when you're ready you will and until then I just want you to know I am here for you no matter what." I reassuring her

"Thank you Hales." She says

"But there is something else I want to talk to you about" I say sweetly trying not to give it away

"Oh really…What is it?" She asks concerned

"I just wanted to talk to you and see who you thought was hot at our school..So who do you think is hot?" The look on her face when I asked her this was priceless

"umm n-no o-one I c-can th-think of" she says stuttering a lot

"Brooke come on we both know that's a total lie. Besides I couldn't help noticing something's yesterday at the party….So you can't lie your way out of this one, so spill it." I tell her being completely honest with her

"Hales how did you know you liked girl and that your feelings for Rachel turned to romantic feelings?" She asks shyly while hugging her knees

"Hmm why do you want to know?" I ask her playfully

"Come on Hales, can you please just tell me?" She begs

"If I tell you, do you promise to tell me why you want to know..and none of your I don't know or I was just wondering crap? I ask her

"Yes I promise" She says

"Well in the 8th grade I started realizing that everyone either had boyfriends or they were talking about how cute and hot the guys were, but when I looked at them I didn't see it at all. I would find myself actually checking girls out I would stare at them up and down longer than most girls were comfortable with. The week that you were really sick and Peyton, Rachel came over to see you and try to make you feel better, well after that we all went to my room. We were all talking and I brought up the subject of boyfriends and how I thought it was really weird that the 4 most popular and gorgeous girls in school didn't have boyfriends. Both Peyton and Rachel said that they had been asked out a bunch of times but they declined all of the offers. I told them that I also got a lot that I declined. Peyton was the first one to say that she wasn't into guys in the first place and that she had a crush on this really hot girl. I was the second one to say I wasn't into guys either and that I think I'm falling for an amazing girl but doubt she would fall for me. Rachel was the bravest one out of all of us she said that she was into girl and that she was into really hot girls named Haley. Both Peyton and I were shocked but I was shocked because I was talking about Rachel I just didn't want to be forward. Rachel and I made out that night and it felt so right. We told Peyton she could kiss one of us but she said she much rather wait until she can kiss the girl she wants if she can get that girl." I explain to Brooke

"oh wow, but how did you come to realize you were falling for Rachel? You didn't say that part." She asks me and states a point

"Well one day she just looked different to me in a good way. She looked a hell of a lot pretty, and every time I would see her I would get nervous and get butterflies in my stomach. When we hugged a felt a spark and it felt amazing." I tell her smiling

"Wow that's intense" She states

"Yeah, but guess what? Now you have to tell me why you asked me this in the first place baby" I tell her sweetly because I know she wants to get out of this talk so badly

"I umm asked you umm because um like I um think uhh I uhh like umm girls." She says stuttering a lot

"Brooke it's okay to talk to me about this you shouldn't be scared at all beside you know that I've been through all this before so it will be a hell of a lot easier for you then it was for me. Anyways what makes you think you like girls?" I tell her and ask

"I check them out and I think there really hot, also every time I see one girl imperticaler I get so nervous and get butterflies in my stomach plus I freeze in the spot I'm in." She tells me when she says the last part I know I was totally right

"Brooke you like Peyton don't you?" I ask

"What the hell makes you say that Haley?" she asks getting pissed but I'm just trying to help

"You just said every time you see one girl you get nervous, and get butterflies in your stomach plus you said you freeze up. And last night when you saw Peyton you were so nervous and once you got really close to us you froze. Plus the way you were positioned on top of her this morning was more than friendly looking, but I know you can't help how you end up in your sleep because you've been like that with me too, but the thing I noticed was when you went to the bathroom as much as you tried to hide it you were so wet. And honestly Brooke it's perfectly fine to feel that way about Peyton. Plus you were totally enjoying that make out session you were having with her till you had your flash back. Weren't you?" I explain my reasons

"Hales I have no clue what you are talking about, but I d-don't like P-P-Peyton like that." She stutters while doing everything to avoid looking at me so she won't admit it

"Really…Then why won't you look at me and why did you stutter your last sentence?" I ask

"I don't know, maybe because you caught me off guard when you asked me about liking her." She says fight her tears back I can hear it in her voice

"Hey Brookie there's no reason to cry, why are you crying anyways?" I state and ask her

"Sissy I'm tired, can I just take a nap and talk to you later?" She asks with tears in her eyes

"Of course, but can you at least tell me the reason you are crying and then when you wake up will talk more?" I ask her

"I guess so, I just realized that I'll probably never be in a relationship because of what happened to me, no matter how much I like or love someone, and my trust in people has been shattered. Hay Hay can you stay in here while I sleep? You don't have to if you don't want to."She's crying really hard at this point

"Hey shh everythings going to be okay. Of course I will stay with you, you know that." I reassure her

We get under the covers in her bed, and she scoots as close as possible towards me. I wrap my arms around her tightly reassuring her that I'm here and she'll be okay. I whisper comforting words into her ear and let her know that it's okay to go asleep. She falls asleep within 10 minutes. I just lay there thinking about what she said right before she went to sleep, and if she only knew how much Peyton really loved her I think she would change her mind.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Brooke's POV: **

When I woke up this morning Peyton told me she had to leave but she would talk to me tomorrow. Then Hales came into my room and I told her I didn't want to talk about what happened last night. She said that was fine I can talk about it when I'm ready, but she did want to talk about something else. She asked who I like, and then we got on the subject of how she realized she liked girls and Rachel. I had to tell her the exact reason why I asked. Then she questioned me if I liked Peyton and the answer is a big fat YES, but for some reason I couldn't tell her that I started to cry. To avoid the rest of the conversation until later I told her I was tired and that I wanted to go back to sleep but I would talk more later. She agreed. She also agreed to stay in here with me while I sleep. We get into my bed and I move as close as I can towards her and she puts her arms around me, she also reassures me that it's okay to sleep and I slowly fall asleep. _I'm at the beach laying on my back with my headphones in my ears all of a sudden I feel hands running up and down my back and butt. I turn around and tell them to fuck off but he just smiles at me and tells me that I know I like it. I tell him I don't and that he needs to leave me alone. He starts moving his hands all over the front of me grabbing my boobs and untying my bathing suit to. I beg him to stop but he doesn't he starts to kiss me and moves his hands farther down my body and moves them in between my legs."PLEASSE STOP, GET OFF ME, NO PLEASE DON'T"_

"Come on Brooke sweetie wake up" I hear someone say while I feel them shaking me

"Don't touch me, get off me" I say not realizing it's only Haley that was shaking me

"Brooke It's me Haley, I'm not going to hurt you baby sis" She says so sweetly

"He was on me again, this time it was worse than last time" I explain while gripping her tightly and sobbing uncontrollably

"Sweetie it was just a dream nothing happened to you." She says so sweetly reassuring me I'm okay

"He's in my fucking head Hales and I don't even know the guys name. If someone touches me I totally freak out and start having a panic attack it's already happened 4 times at school in 5 days." I explain to her

"Brookie it doesn't matter that you don't know his name, as far as people touching you it's understandable why you freak out. Hey let's go back to the topic that we were talking about before you went to sleep okay?" She asks

"uhh y-yeah I g-guess we can." I tell her

"Okay well I'll ask you the same question I did earlier. Do you like Peyton? And Brooke please doesn't lie this time." She says

"o-okay I changed my mind I don't want to talk about this topic." I say

"Okay I'll go a different route on this. Last night was the first time you've kissed anyone weather it was a girl or guy right?" She asks me

"Yes it was" I admit

"And you enjoyed it didn't you?" She asks

"Honestly yes." I tell her

"When she was kissing and sucking your neck before the flashback happened you were enjoying it and getting wet right?" She ask just trying to get to the bottom of this

"Hales" I shriek

"Come on Brooke please just answer the questions, I promise you that I won't tell Rachel or Peyton in less you tell me I can" She explains

"Yes I was enjoying what she was doing" I say

"Brooke come on answer the other half of the question to please" she begs

"While she was kissing and sucking on my neck I was enjoying it a lot and yes it did turn me on, and it was making me wet." I whisper hoping to god she didn't hear me but of course she did

"Baby there's nothing wrong with that at all. You've answered the hard questions now you just need to answer the one that started this conversation. Do you like Peyton more than afraid?" she says

"Hell yes, she's so fucking hot." I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth and I hated the fact that the truth did come out

"Well I'm glad you finally admitted it even though I know it surprised the hell out of you that you did, anyways I think you should talk to Peyton about how you're feeling because you never know she might like you." She tells me

"I'll try telling her but I don't know if I could go through with it. Hales can you call her and tell her to come over I'm going to go take a shower." I say

"Of course I can" She say and hugs me then walks out of the room

What the fuck have I just gotten myself into? I just told my sister I would admit to Peyton that I liked her. How am I going to do this? What if it messes up my friendship with her? What if she actually does like me? She's more experienced than me. I'm still trying to handle what happened to me this summer…Should I really have told my sister I would tell Peyton?

**~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N: So that's the third chapter. I really hope you guys are like the story so far. But I do have a question for you guys. Would you prefer Brooke to have an eating disorder, or self-harm to cope with her rape? Please let me know. Also if you guys have any ideas that would be awesome if you shared them and if I use I'll give you credit:]**


	4. Getting the Courage Part 1

**Becoming Comfortable With Who You Are**

**Ch.4: Getting the Courage To Admit To Liking You Part 1**

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Haley's POV:**

I was just in Brooke's room trying to get her to open up to me about who she likes. After she tried avoiding the topic by going to sleep for awhile until she was woken up because of a nightmare. I asked her a simple question but she was unable to answer that question. So I decided to ask her harder ones and surprisingly she answered those with no problem except for the last one when asked if she got turned on by Peyton, but she did answer it. Finally I asked her if she liked Peyton again she admitted that she did. She also told me that she would talk to Peyton today and tell her so that is why I have the phone in my hand and dialing her number.

"Hello" She answered

"Hey Peyton, I'm sorry for calling you after I had you leave this morning" I started off

"Hales its okay what do you need? IS everything okay with Brooke?" She asks

"That's actually why I called Brooke wants you to come over and talk to you. She would have called you but she is in the shower and asked me to." I explain

"Okay I'll be there in 10 minutes. Hales do you know why she wants to talk to me?" She asks

"Just come over Peyton I'll see you in ten minutes" I tell her then hang up

After I hang up the phone I go into the kitchen and get something to eat. When I was making myself a sandwich I realized that Brooke has been up for a long time and she hasn't said she was hungry or even come into the kitchen to get something to eat. I'll just have Peyton bring her up something when she gets here. So I make Brooke a sandwich too. While I was doing this I heard the doorbell ring. I yelled and told her it was unlocked and to come to the kitchen. Peyton walks into the kitchen and looks really concerned and worried.

"Peyton I can honestly tell you there's nothing to worry about" I tell her

"Okay good, I thought something bad happened to her or something." She admits

"Nope it's nothing like that at all she just wants to talk to you about a couple of things" I tell her

"Okay well I should probably go up there then." She says

"Hey Peyt before you go up there I just wanted to ask you a question." I tell her

"Okay go ahead" She says

"Have you notices brookie's eating habits changing in the past 4 months? I know Brookes always been skinny but she also always would be eating and since she has been up today she hasn't eaten a thing and she only had half a slice of pizza last night" I ask and tell her

"Honestly yeah I have but I didn't think much about it but now I know what you're saying" She explains

"Okay well you can go up there now I made her a sandwich can you give it to her and see if she eats it? I made you one too." I tell her

"Of course Hales, and Thank you." She says while walking up the stairs

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Peyton's POV:**

After Haley asked me if I have noticed Brooke's eating habits changing it got me thinking about them and in all honestly yes I have noticed but didn't think anything about it until Hales brought it up. While thinking about it I realized in the months Brooke had us all fooled that she was fine she was barley eating at all. Rach and I would come over almost every day just for support and to let her know we were here for her. We would pretty much always eat dinner her and Brooke would either be asleep by the time one of us went to get her, or told us she wasn't hungry, or eat like 3 bites and leave, but none of us realized this before now. So I'm determined to watch and see exactly what she does with her food. I finally reach Brooke's door usually I would walk right and she wouldn't think twice about it, but lately if her door is shut its locked and we know it's just because she wants to feel safe but I don't think it works. I put one of the sandwiches on the ground for a minute while I knock on her door. About a minute later Brooke opens the door and she looks beautiful. Although she doesn't were revealing clothing outside the house anymore when she's home she'll wear whatever makes her comfortable. She's wearing a tight ass tank top that shows off her boobs perfectly, and short shorts that show her amazing legs and ass. God I wish she was my girlfriend. Anyways she walks over to her bed and sits down and motions me to come sit down by her. I pick up the sandwich and I walk in to her room. I hand her the sandwich and we start talking.

"Thanks Peyton but I'm not hungry, also thank you for coming back over I don't know why you had to leave this morning even though I'm pretty sure it had something to do with Hales" She says

"No Problem Hales just wanted to spend the whole day with you today nothing bad. Are you sure you're not hungry?" I explain and ask her

"Yeah I'm positive" She says

"Okay Brookie what did you want to talk to me about?" I ask her

"Who said I wanted to talk? I just wanted to hang out with you and get away from Hales for a while." She says trying to get away with this lie

"Brooke come on did you honestly think I would believe that?" I ask her

"I was hoping you would. Can we just hang out please?" She asks

"I'll tell you what Brooke if you tell me what you want you need to say, we can hang out and do whatever you want." I tell her

"Okay I guess" She says

"So what did you want to tell me?" I ask

"I-I d-don't….." She starts saying but she can't finish because she's starting to have a panic attack.

Brooke was starting to tell me what she needed to but then she started having a panic attack. She was hyperventilating and shaking uncontrollably while hugging her knees. I tried to calm her down but I couldn't. Every time I went to go and soothe her she would just get worse from my touch. It totally broke my heart seeing her like this. It's actually a first for me I have never seen her have a panic attack before. I did the only other thing I could think of I walked out of her room and screamed down the stairs.

"Hales" I scream

"Peyton what is it" She yells from the kitchen

"It's Brooke sh---" I couldn't finish before she got to the stairs and started heading up.

"She's having a panic attack and I tried everything to calm her down but it seemed to only panic her more." I say crying

"Peyt it's okay…let's just go into her room and I'll try and calm her down okay?" She asks

"Okay" I say

When we walk into Brooke's room she is worse than before. She moved from her bed and was now sitting in a corner of her room shaking uncontrollably, she was also still hyperventilating but while that was happening she was crying so it was making it even worse for her to breathe. Seeing her like this breaks my heart. Haley slowly walks over to were Brooke is and she kneels down so she's at her level and starts trying to calm her sister down. It was amazing to see how much love Haley has for her sister and how much she was pouring into trying to calm her down. She was telling Brooke just to try and take slow deep breathes, while she was doing that she tried to pull her into a hug to comfort her and try to stop the shaking but it made it worse the deep breathes went out the window and she could barley breathe again. She tells Brooke that she's sorry, and she won't touch her until Brooke lets her know its okay. About ten minutes later Hales finally got her to calm down. Brooke got up and moved back over to the bed, and sat down right down next to me. She whispered sorry then hugged me tightly. She also asked if Hales would stay while she told me what she had to say. Hales agreed and I said it was fine. Brooke lied her head down on my lap then Hales came and lifted her legs up and sat down then placed them down on her lap. As we started to talk I was playing with her hair and she seemed to really like it.

"Sweetie can you try and tell me what you were saying earlier?" I ask Brooke

"I'll try but a different way" she says still crying just a little bit

"Okay, just know that if you feel yourself starting to lose control I want you to let me know by squeezing my hand so I know why you stopped talk. Go ahead" I say

"Th-this summer I started checking people out." She says

"Brooke this is normal why are you so nervous?" I ask

"Because it was mostly people at the beach who wear bikinis…" she says really softly

"I don't know why you are so scared of telling me this Brooke, I'm a lesbian remember?" I ask

"I know you are, but there's a lot more to this" she says

"Okay go ahead Brooke I promise there is nothing you can say to make me run off and I promise." I say

"Peyt For me to be able to finish what I have to say to you, you have to let me finish what I have to say with no interruptions, because if you do I'm afraid I might not be able to finish." She says

"Okay Brooke I promise" I tell her

"There was one girl imperticalure that I couldn't stop looking at, she is amazingly beautiful. She has long blonde curly hair and wore a b-b-bl-black & p-pink bikini. Every time I see her I get really nervous and I freeze up sometimes. When we hug or have contact I feel a spark and get goose bumps. Peyton I realized, that I'm falling for you." She starts shaking and crying

"Aw Brooke please calm down sweetie you're going to work yourself up and have another panic attack baby. Baby please calm down.' I say all this while playing with her hair and I look over at Hales who's rubbing her back.

"I'm sorry I should have never told you, now you probably hate me and I don't blame you if you want me to stop being around you" She says crying

"Brooke I would never stop being your friend, and I don't hate you. Actually Brooke I've liked you since 8th grade. You've gotten more beautiful each day and I've always wanted to be able to hold you and call you mine. Brooke you turn me on just by looking at you some times. The outfit that you are wearing right now is a total turn on you look so hot in it. Last night was also a turn on. When the bottle landed on you I was so happy because I was getting a chance to make out with the hottest girl around. We were kissing and when you deepened the kiss it turned me on so much. Brooke I don't hate you I've been in love with you for the longest time." I explain to her

"Really?" She asks

"Yes I would not be lying about this Brookie." I tell her

"Why would you still love me though? I'm broken and damaged, you can do a lot better" She starts silently crying hoping I wouldn't notice but I felt the tears on my legs.

"Sweetie please look at me" I ask

"I-I c-can't…i-it's t-to h-ard." She stutters while she's starting to shake a lot more then she already was

"Sweetie it's okay I won't make you look at me….but I do want you to stop shaking and know that I'm really glad you told me the truth. Until you calm down how about we lay down on your bed and I hold you?" I ask her hoping she'll agree

"I'd like that" She says while sitting up and tears running down her face

"Hey Brooke is it okay if I talk to Peyton for a minute just right outside your door?" Hales asks her

"Y-yeah" she says but both me and Haley no she would prefer if I didn't leave her

"I'll be right back Brookie your safe." I whisper before I leave with Hales

Hales and I walk out of Brooke's room and shut the door just a little bit still leaving it open though. I can see it in Hales eyes that she is really concerned about Brooke and how much liking me is upsetting her and scaring her. Hales is the first to start talking.

"Peyton, it worries me how much liking you is upsetting Brooke. I've never seen my sister have a panic attack or even shake like she was doing when we left." She tells me

"Hales I know, but remember how worried I was when I figured out I liked Brooke? I didn't tell you or Rachel until 9th grade you knew I liked a girl but I couldn't tell you because I thought you would freak and hate me. I think we just need to give her some time to get used to the fact she likes me and that I love her. I have no clue why she is shaking so much but it might have something to do with not eating. I'll stay with Brooke and try and calm her down." I tell her

"Okay yeah I guess you're right. I'll go make dinner while you are with Brooke then. Do you want to eat with us?" She says and asks

"That would be great thanks Hales, I have a feeling I might be staying here tonight" I tell her

"Yeah I think so too, even though she is really scared about liking you she still wants you by her and I think I know why that is." She says

"Why?" I ask

"Because two of the people that she has cared about the most left her and I think she's going to try and be with you as much as possible for a while because she's afraid you're going to leave her too." She explains

"I would never do that to her and she should know that by now, but I know what you're saying. Well I should get back to her." I tell her

"Yeah okay" She says while starting to head towards the stairs

When Hales and I finished talking she headed towards the stairs while I went back into Brooke's room. I just walked in because she knows that I would be coming back to lay with her. She was laying on her bed with tears still falling down her face. I walk over to the bed and lie down and rap Brooke in my arms.

**~*~*~*~*~**

**Brooke's POV:**

I told Peyton that I'm falling for her, but while I was telling her I had a panic attack. Peyton couldn't calm me down no matter how much she tried so she had to go and get Hales. Hales was finally able to get me to calm down and I was able to say what I had to say. I'm still crying though and I feel really weak but that's okay. Hales and Peyton left my room to go talk with each other for a minute and I was left here laying on my bed with tears falling down my face. I think there catching on to what I've been doing or should we say not doing for the past 4 months, because they have never brought food up to me before but today they did. As much as liking Peyton scares the shit out of me, I can't help but want her here with me all the time. I'm so afraid that she's going to realize how damaged I am and leave me just like my parents did. About five minutes after Peyton left my room she came back and laid down on my bed and rapped me in her arms. I scooted as close as I could to her. While I was wrapped in her arms I was thinking about how you're parents are supposed to be the ones to comfort you in your time of need, but no my parents are somewhere in the world which I have no clue where. Thinking about this made me start crying louder.

"Hey baby what's wrong?" she asks me

"Nothing" I say while still crying

"Come on hunny I know there's something wrong or else you wouldn't be crying. You can tell me" She says

"It's just for th-the past f-four months you, Hales, and Rach have acted like a mother is supposed to act when their daughter needs her. A mother is supposed to be there to protect her daughter and comfort her in her time of need but no, mine is somewhere in the world which I have no clue where. I just wish they never left. Hales doesn't know it but I think about them all the time and can't help wonder what the hell I did wrong to make them leave." I say while crying

"Sweetie all three of us care and love you so much we would do anything for you and you know that, and if that means acting like a mother then hell we are going to do it. You're right a mother is supposed to protect and be there for her daughter in time of need, your parent's are being selfish by leaving you and your sister but you have a whole different kind of family. You got Rachel and me. And as far as what you did to make them leave, you didn't do anything at all. It was their selfish choice they chose to leave." She says

"I just can't help but wonder when you are going to leave me… I know it sounds bad and I don't believe you will or maybe I do I don't know." I say through my tears

"Brooke I know you have abandonment issues and you are afraid that people who you love are going to leave just like your parents did but I want you to know that I'm never going to leave you. The only way I will walk away from your life is if you ask me to but if not then you're stuck with me forever." She says

"You promise?" I ask trying to fight back the tears

"Of course Brooke, you, Hales, and Rachel are my family and I'll stand by you guys till the end of time sweetie" She tells me

"Okay" I say

After we were done talking about that conversation we sat in silence for about 15 minutes. I was just thinking how right it felt to be in Peyton's arms and how safe she makes me feel. It's the same exact safe that Haley makes me feel. After about 15 minutes Peyton starts playing with my hair and talking.

"Brooke can I ask you a question and have you be completely honest with me?" She asks

"uuhh sure" I say having no clue what she was going to ask

"How much are you eating?" She asks very concerned

I turn around so I'm facing her and burry my head in her chest and muffle my answer "Less than 500 calories"

"Brooke sweetie I couldn't hear what you said, please baby I'm only asking because I'm worried about you" She says very concerned

I look up at her with tears running down my face and whisper my answer "Less than 500 calories"

Peyton wraps her arms around me even tighter then before and says "It's okay baby, I'll help you get through this, but we do need to tell your sister you know this right?" she asks

"Please Peyt I'll start eating again please just don't tell Hales" I beg

"I'll tell you what if you eat that sandwich that's by you, I won't make you tell her but if you don't or you purge it we are going to tell her okay?" She asks

"I guess that's fair" I say with tears still in my eyes

I pick the plate up that the sandwich is on, and put it on my lap. I just stare down at it for the longest time as if I was hoping by some miracle it would disappear and I wouldn't have to eat or tell Hales. I start picking at it and making small little bites with my figures and putting them on the plate, pretty soon the whole sandwich was in tinny little pieces on the plate. Peyton was rubbing my back and staring at me while I did all of this. I picked up the pieces and tried to eat them but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The next thing I know I threw the plate across the room and started hyperventilating. The plate actually hit the wall and broke and made a really loud noise. I couldn't breathe at all and I started shaking uncontrollably. Peyton wraps her arms around me and starts whispering comforting words in my ear to try and calm me down. While she was doing this my door open and I see Haley standing there looking very concerned.

"Is everything okay? I heard a loud noise from this room" Haley says with concern in her voice

"Yeah everything's okay, the plate just hit the wall is all" Peyton explains to Haley

"I'm sorry" I say still crying and shaking really hard

"Baby it's okay you didn't mean to" Peyton say's trying to comfort me

"Brooke sweetie what happened?" Haley asks me

Crying even more "I threw the plate into the wall"

"Brooke sweetie I think you should tell your sister why exactly you threw it into the wall" Peyton says to me

"I Cccan't, you tell her please" I say while crying and burring my head into Peyton's chest

"Sure sweetie" Peyton says while smoothing my hair

"Brooke threw the plate into the wall because she was trying to eat the sandwich you made her but she felt overwhelmed and threw it then started hyperventilating" Peyton explains to Haley while still comforting me

"Brookie it's okay I'm not mad at you….I just wish you would have come to one of us when things got to hard instead of turning to not eating" Haley says

"I'm sorry" I say crying really hard now

"It's okay really sweetie I'm just worried about you…How about you write or go to sleep until dinners ready and then you can come down and try and eat but I won't force you to eat but we are going to get you better in time" Haley says

"Okay but can Peyton stay with me please?" I ask desperately

"Of course I will and you know that" Peyton says reassuring me

After Peyton was done talking Haley left the room and Peyton and I lied down on my bed. I was snuggled really close to her body, she was holding me tightly and reassuring me that everything would be okay and that she wasn't going anywhere, and would be right by me when I wake up.

**A/N: I'm really sorry for the long wait on the update to this story. I know I told a couple of people that it would be up soon and I'm really sorry but I got stuck on it a little bit so I decided to make it two parts that way at least you guys have an update. And I will try to update sooner next time. I really hope you like this chapter if you have any ideas or complaints please let me know. Thank you:]**


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